O Great Oracle

So, in an attempt to waste more of my time this afternoon (yeah, ’cause I never seem to do that enough), I dwelled in this great activity called Foreseeing with the Oracle.

It is basically putting your music player on shuffle mode, ask your question out loud (with great respect and reverence, of course), and have your questions answered by the Great Oracle.

Seeing that I have more than just a few measly songs in my player (’cause it really wouldn’t work then), I figured I might get some pretty good answers.

So I asked my first question, “Great Oracle, how does the world see me?”

Not wasting a second, the Oracle answered, “Dried Up, Tied and Dead to the World – Marilyn Manson”. (No! Not kidding.) But then I realized, ahhh, I already had that song on play, so it doesn’t count. I clicked for the next song, and – “Simple Man – Shinedown”.

Well. I would’ve preferred the world see me as someone totally complex, much like Einstein’s mind, complex, much like Pembezaan dan Pengamiran, complex, like, very un-simple. But nevermind.

Then I asked, “How can I make myself happy?” and the Oracle paused a bit, like any great foreteller should, and answered, “Screaming Infidelities – Dashboard Confessional”. (Oh I bullshit you not.) Now, that really is pretty hard to do, since I don’t have anyone to be disloyal to in the first place. Also, it is pretty disturbing, y’know, that I have to cheat on my boyfriend to be happy. Perhaps I’d enjoy seeing him hurt. Ooooh.

Then I had to proceed, “Will I ever have children?”

And the oracle played “Two Beds and One Coffee Machine – Savage Garden”. I’ve never really paid attention to that song, so I googled it, scanned through the lyrics, and found out that it has lyrics like ‘Slowly she opens the door, Check that he is sleeping, Pack the kids up in the car‘. I have concluded that it must be trying to tell me that some time in the future I would cheat on my husband, have kids (ah, the answer to my ‘children’ question), then later on leave my husband.

Still. Wow the Oracle gives good answers. While I’m pretending to be totally awed by it, I’m just secretly glad that I have been lucky thus far. ‘Cause the Oracle still hasn’t played anything by, say, Chevelle. Y’know, ’cause Chevelle is so totally cryptic, I almost can never understand the lyrics.

Then I asked, “What should I do with my life?” and the answer the Great Oracle gave was – “Enjoy the Silence – Depeche Mode”. Um, no comments. I have to be silent, ya know.

And ooooh, this one is good. I asked, “What do my friends really think of me?” and out came, “You’re My Angel – Taking Back Sunday”. Oh really? I always thought I was pretty average. Haha! (I cannot stress this enough, these are what ‘the Oracle’ really gave me. You KNOW I don’t lie.)

And then came something totally creepy. “O Great Oracle, what will be played at my funeral?”

“Bury Me In Black – My Chemical Romance”.

OMGWTFBBQSauce!
Yes initially it tried to play ‘Some Hearts’, but that song was deleted, so it skipped straight to ‘Bury Me In Black’. This is supposed to be a joke. The stupid player isn’t supposed to answer that with a song like this.

“Will I have a happy life?” and it answered, “The World You Love – Jimmy Eat World”. Guess I’ll be pretty happy after all. Y’know, despite the infidelity, the lies, the kids (probably illegitimate) and the pack-up-and-leave.

You know, with all the answers the Oracle has given me, well, it’s creepy. It’s supposed to answer my questions with songs that are so random, they don’t even really answer the question. You know, like, “O Oracle, will I ever get to marry Lee Hom?” and it’s suppose to go, for example, “Chicken Pie”. Y’know, totally irrelevant answers.

So I decided, heck, why not give the Great Oracle a little test. By asking the same question, of course.

“Great Oracle, again, what is the song that will be played at my funeral?”

Great Oracle : “You’re So Last Summer – Taking Back Sunday”.

Well that’s sad. And I thought I will be remembered. ='(

* * * * *

Yes this is a pretty stupid post. Well, I was bored.

I’m pretty creeped out by the songs that were chosen. I mean, take that funeral question, for instance. There are only a handful of songs in my playlist that could approprietly answer the question. And it had to choose the most appropriet one. (Yes I cannot spell appropriat.)

I’m just glad it didn’t play ‘Tortures of the Damned’. It would’ve meant I would be sent to hell. And apparently I wouldn’t be enjoying it, either.

(Chooiyen promises the next time she posts, she’ll post something a little less stupid.)

PS. I just found out my 101 post count also included draft posts. My real post count must be somewhere around 90. Oh that’s disappointing.

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