I should be

Satisfied.

So you could tell from my messed up hair in the morning that I’ve been tossing around at night, wondering what I did wrong that I got a 5C and a 4B.

And what did I come up with? I was too comfortable with myself.

I thought I’d prepared enough, but ah well, too bad for me, it fell short of what is actually ‘Enough’.

Wasn’t so much dissappointed that I didn’t get 11 or 12 A’s, was more dissappointed ’cause I knowknowKNOW I couldv’e done better than a 5C or a 4B.

(My B3 in chinese wasn’t surpising. I’m surprised I even got a B3, ’cause that is only one step below an A!)

So while the entire group went out to celebrate, I was the only one who went out to try to not think about SPM results.

Even till yesterday, when people like my neighbours came and asked “How many A’s?”, I was embarrassed to say “Only 9.”

You could almost hear them thinking, “Oh, how average.”

I think it was ’cause I was surrounded by genius friends who all got 10A’s, 11A’s, 12A’s, 13A’s even.

But then I talked to my college mates, I talked to my cousin, and initially, I couldn’t for the life of me understand why they went, “Oh, congratulations!”

(First thing I could think of in reply to that was, “Do you know my results?”)

Then I realized, I didn’t do bad, did I?

I mean, out of the possible 12 A’s, I actually got 9!

Went out with my sister to catch a movie, wanted to get myself a CD I’ve been eyeing, partly to cheer myself up, partly to congratulate myself.

Embrace my Nine, yo!

It was funny, my ex-naighbour drove all the way back to our neiaghbourhood, just to ask my mom what my results were.

My mom said, “9 A’s”, and all she went was, “Oh.”

You could tell she didn’t know to congratulate me, or to go, “Don’t worry SPM isn’t important blahblah.” (Her son got 14A’s by the way.)

Then she started telling my mom about this “Girl who lives in SS1, whole family also very clever, brother got into Cambidge, sister studied in Stamford, Girl got 14 A’s!”

Guess who was she talking about? (Yi Peeeeeeeeeeeng!)

So I got myself cheered up (plus SMSes from friends who care enough to bother SMSing work miracles!), then I found out that to apply for this OTHER thing I wanted to apply for, I need only 8 A1’s.

Though I shouldn’t even bother because my chances are so uber slim, at least I know I met the minimum requirements! I guess I was most upset that day because I thought I hadn’t.

It’s unfortunate though, that the 5C I got was for Bahasa Malaysia. I mean, to be eligible for anthing, you have to have “desirable SPM results in both English and Malay.”

Grrrrrr, 5C is far from desirable.

Anyway. I’m sorry I had to, um, be unhappy in the hall that day.

Just so you know, sometimes my tears fall for no apparent reason. I could watch people cry, and my tears would start falling, and I wouldn’t even be feeling ANYTHING at all.

Weird things like that happen to me sometimes.

* * * * *

Pursuit of Happyness is an okay movie.

It got me crying, of course, but I wonder what movie wouldn’t get me crying. Harharhar.

It isn’t the kind that keeps you up at night, going over the storyline, then gets you thinking, “I must learn something from this!”

The only nice part was when Chris told Christopher to never let go of his dreams, and that the only reason people tell you you can’t do something, is because they can’t do it themselves (or something like that).

I need to watch Mukhsin. (Or, the way my sister says it, MUSH-kin.)

* * * * *

Oh, before I hit the ‘Publish’ button, I gotta do something.

Congrats you guys, every single one of you!

Now we can finally put this entire thing behind us, and focus on CollegeThingsAndSuch.

And pardon the many typos in this post, using a laptop, uncomfortable with its keyboard.

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